Bad Day, Good Day, Red Day, Blue Day

I tried. I really did, try. I didn't complain or wallow in sadness for the first half of the day. But it kind of tapered off when suddenly I had so much to do and so little time to do it all.

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My car battery died this morning. I didn't make a big fuss. I let it go, called my amazing, wonderful, beautiful friend to come and pick me up. She did. I was 13 minutes late for work, but I couldn't change it and I didn't miss an appointment or get in trouble. I worked on my Spanish homework for a little while and made some progress there. I read my assigned talk before institute and I even wrote all of 50 words in my novella. Yay.

Well, then the afternoon came and I realized that I would probably need a new car battery (which I did), I had to pay my car insurance premium (on a car that wouldn't start this morning, mind you), I was in desperate need of a chiropractor, I had a 4-5 page paper to write, no time for FHE, I was hungry because the lunch I made this morning tasted nasty and so I didn't eat it, my ears hurt (because I've been sick), my Debate advisor was trying to get information from me that I didn't have, and I realized that my Spring Break probably isn't going to be a break at all. That, and someone took my bike.

I tried! Really I did! This morning when everything started bad I tried as hard as I could to just let it go and move on with a positive attitude. I did pretty good until the afternoon when everything just started crashing down.

Patience is hard. Now, I did not pray for patience (I am not that stupid) but I saw this as a great opportunity to work on it. Yeah, not such a great turn out. I broke down in front of my amazing, wonderful, beautiful friend and I kind of feel like a moron because most of my problems were not a big deal; they just needed to be dealt with one at a time. I am feeling better about things though. Granted, I'm by no means where I need to be for the week as far as homework, but I'm within manageable limits, for now. If I can just get through Wednesday...

I guess I'm just upset because I've been trying to have a better attitude and it's harder than I thought. I know, everything is harder than you think, except when it's not. I remember the line from Oh, the Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss: "Except when you don't. Because sometimes you won't. I'm sorry to say so, but sadly it's true, that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you." Yes, then can, and yes they did.

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But, today was a good day: things are looking up for my parents, my car has a new battery, my insurance premium is paid and I don't have to worry about it for 6 months, my voice is flickering back on, my 4-5 page paper is written (maybe not well, but it's done), my shoes are glued together again, I realized that the "drama" in my life was self induced and completely unnecessary, I finished reading Believing Christ, I have friends who are amazing and cute, and quite frankly, I am a daughter of God who loves me and I have a Savior who died for me. Yeah. Today was a good day.

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"I've had many problems in my life, and most of them never happened." --Mark Twain

"And will you succeed? Yes, you will indeed. 98 3/4 % guaranteed. Kid, you'll move mountains." --Dr. Seuss

"You're about as happy as you make up your mind to be." --Abe Lincoln

"Let it go." --Indian Jones and the Last Crusade

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Today's Featured Quote:

"Words and hearts should be handled with care, for words when spoken and hearts when broken, are hardest to repair."

The Best Policy...

I once asked a group of guys what is the best way to tell a guy you like him to see if he likes you too. They said that subtle hints don't work and obvious hints are either missed or come across as annoying. What then is the best way to see if a guy likes you too? I asked. Their collective response? Ask him.

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I once liked a guy. Shocking, I know. But after a while I had several people prodding me to see if he liked me back. So, I asked him. Granted, it was a little awkward because I was incredible immature, but, looking back, it did simplify things a great deal. He didn't like me back but was still interested in being friends. Things weren't awkward between us afterwards because we didn't let them be awkward. We were friends (and I'd like to think we still are).

Later that year I found two other boys attractive (not as much as the first, but attractive nonetheless). I was around a group of girls asking these two attractive guys how to let a guy know that you like him. I told them it was easy: you tell them. They laughed because it was easy to "say such things" but no one would ever do it.

I turned to the guy to my right and said, "Peter, I find you attractive." They all stopped laughing and looked from Peter to me and then back to Peter. He didn't say anything so I followed up with, "Just so you know." Peter and I are still friends too.

~

Well, life weaves an intricate pattern. I like another guy now...I think. I'm still a little indecisive, but I am pretty sure I like him. Anyway, I was going to ask him to the girl's choice Sadie Hawkins dance tomorrow, but someone else beat me to him and I didn't have a back up plan. Anyway, this guy was sitting next to me at "free dinner at the Episcopal church" tonight and started making casual conversation. He asked if I was going to the Sadie Hawkins dance. I said no. He asked why not. I told him that the guy I was going to ask got asked out by someone else before I could get to him. And then he went one step further. He asked me who the guy was. I had a split second to think it through. My thoughts (all condensed into 2 seconds of real time) were thus:

I could tell him it's none of his business...but there is no way to say that without sounding childish

I could tell him that I'm not telling...but that would also sound childish

I could make up some guy...but that would be lying and lying is never a good idea

Result: I told the truth.

I took a deep breath, turned to him and said, "I was going to ask you." I looked at him for another second and then continued eating. I could see the shock in his face and I don't know how long it was before it died. He retorted with something like, "Oh. Really?" The casual conversation continued after that without much awkwardness. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do now...

Dating is awesome isn't it?

But my favorite part of the story was that my friend Maria was sitting right next to me at the time and heard the whole conversation. Her jaw dropped about a foot when I actually told him that I was going to ask him to the dance. When he was out of earshot for a few seconds she leaned over and said, "I can't believe you actually told him!" Without thinking about it I said, "Well, he asked. Honesty is always the best policy."

I hope I'm right. :)

~

"Love is beautiful. Love is wonderful." --Ray, Princess and the Frog

"Let's say God puts two people on the earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But then, one of them gets hit by lightning. Well, then what? Or perchance you meet someone new is that the person you were supposed to be with, or was it the first? And if the two of them were walking side by side did it just happen to be the first one first, or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance, or are some things meant to be?" --Henry, Ever After

"I won't say I'm in love!" --Meg, Hercules

"Dear God, was that necessary?" --Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof

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Today's Featured Quote:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." --Maria Robinson

Right?

Just something I've been thinking about lately:

What's right is right, no matter what anyone says. What's wrong is wrong, no matter what anyone says. Now here's the hard part: What's right is right, regardless of who says it and what they do. What's wrong is wrong, regardless of who says it and what they do.

My mom once told me a story about how when she and my dad were starting to become active in the church after a leave of absence. She said that an obstacle came up when there was a woman giving a talk in Sacrament meeting about a topic that my mom knew the woman didn't live personally. My mom struggled with this hypocrisy for a short while before she and my dad talked about it. They decided that it was either going to be about the gospel, or it was going to be about the people. They made it about the gospel.

There are hypocrites everywhere; in every state, city, school, and church. People are not perfect. I am not perfect. I feel that I can safely say that everyone is a hypocrite sometimes. But we can't judge truth by whether or not the people preaching it are practicing it. If someone who lies says that lying is bad, are they a hypocrite? Probably (I don't want to judge). But, are they still right? Yes. Lying is wrong; that much is right. It is a true principle whether it comes from the mouth of a liar or a prophet.

I am tired of people saying that the LDS people are hypocrites. We are no more hypocrites than any other organized religion. The world is full of hypocrites, not just in the LDS church. No one on this earth is perfect; but we should still preach what is right. And yes, we should always strive to practice the truths that we preach, but our lack of perfection will never keep the truth from being right.

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Questions for today:

Do you search for truth or do you search for comfort?

When making a decision, do you care more about what others think, or about what God thinks?

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Disclaimer: I am not perfect (by any stretch of the imagination). Anything I say has my permission to be perceived as false and hypocritical by anyone who failed to recognize the point of this post.

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"Of course you're right, you're always right. And that can only mean that I am wrong." --Lauraine Henderson

"You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." --Mother Teresa

"Failure isn't falling down. Failure is staying down." --Someone

"Judge not that ye be not judged." --Matthew, chapter 7

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Today's Featured Quote:

"Why am I so bad at being good?!" --Avatar: The Last Airbender

Lost Friendships, Pressed Memories

Over the Christmas break I had the marvelous opportunity to read the Harry Potter series. It was wonderful. When I was bored I knew exactly what I was going to do: I would read Harry Potter. I will admit that although I was not obsessed with the series, I enjoyed the characters and felt enough connection with them to cry when one (or more) died. During the late hours of the night (and sometimes the wee hours of the morning) I was never at a loss for something to keep me occupied. This book series was like a friend who was always there. And then, 4,125 pages later, my friend left me. The parting was bittersweet. The first few days after I finished the series were odd. I was bored more often then usual and I longed to be back in the middle of the series.

But, as always happens with life, I was presented with a new friend a few weeks later: the animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender. Again, I fell for the story and the characters. I watched the short twenty two minute shows whenever I could find (or make) time and sometimes stayed up past when I would have normally to watch the next one after a "To Be Continued..." episode. Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the plot and connected with the characters and their journeys. I had a new friend. And then, last week, I realized that our friendship was drawing to a close. I prolonged the inevitable as long as my desire to find out what happened next would allow. But, in the end, it was over. Another friend gone.

Somebody famous once said that "You know you have read a good book when you turn the last page and feel like you have lost a friend." It seems that I have lost many friends (some of them repeatedly). But, these friends are like flowers on the side of the road. Seeing them and smelling them is wonderful, but eventually we have to keep walking; we can't stay there forever. But we can cut them, and press them into our memories for as long as we'd like. "Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end. But in my heart? A memory. And there, you'll always be" (Fox and the Hound).

I'm so glad that I have such a love for reading and the watching of good, wholesome, child-like (not childish) shows. Boy! am I a nerd. :)

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"A man who does not read has no advantage over a man who cannot read." --Mark Twain

"Seek ye out of the best books." --Scriptures (somewhere) :D

"When you come to the last page, close the book." --Chinese Proverb

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Today's Featured Quote:

"How can you read this? There's no pictures!" --Gaston, Beauty and the Beast