Eccentricities

Here is a list of my eccentricities that I am aware of:

1. Things have to be balanced. (i.e. You can have both shoes tied, or both shoes untied, but not one of each.)

2. Necklace chain clasps belong along the back of the neck. I will always be ready to help you put it in its proper place.

3. I am afraid of werewolves, and I have no idea why that fear has stayed with me and all the others left with puberty.

4. When I buy a beverage with a lid I like to pour said beverage into the lid and drink it in shots rather than from the bottle.

5. When sitting, I don't like having my feet touch the ground/floor.

6. The first three things I notice about people are: a) their shoes, b) their face [eyes, smile, etc.], and c) their veins. And yes, in that order.

7. Smells can change my mood almost instantly. Examples: rotting food will put me in a snarly mood and men's cologne will put me in a good mood.

8. My favorite features about myself are my eyes, my forearms, and my hands.

9. Leather is one of my favorite materials.

10. I believe that boots are the single most attractive kind of footwear in existence.

11. I obsess over things briefly and intensely and then I just like them forever.

12. I do not like to "pretend" to be worse off than I am. If I am worse off than before, fine; but I don't like to pretend.

13. Anyone standing taller than 6'3'' is immediately 25% more intimidating to me.

14. I do not like apple juice, and I don't usually like cranberry juice, but I love cran-apple juice.

15. I cannot wear socks that have holes in them.

16. Well fitting button down shirts with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up are extremely attractive.

17. I am easily distracted by my own reflection.

18. The color of my eyes depends on the color of my shirt.

19. I like odd numbers better than even numbers.

20. I like to practice my handwriting every once in a while and periodically change how I form certain letters and numbers.

21. Every morning, I brush my hair the same way: I start on the left side and work my way to the right. I have tried starting on the right before and it just made me squirm.

22. I am double jointed in my thumbs and toes, I can scream (and squeak) with my mouth shut, and I can wiggle my ears, twitch my nose, and shake my eyes.

23. I don't like frosting.

24. (For Lauren) "I have magical hair that glows when I sing."

~

I just got thinking about the strange little things about me and I thought I'd share so that everyone else knows how strange I am too. :) (That is assuming of course that you didn't know already.)

~

"A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things." -Herman Melville

"'Henry have you made your peace with God?' 'I did not know we had ever quarreled, Aunt.'" -Henry David Thoreau

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Women are angels. If someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly...on broomsticks. We're flexible like that."

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"One step short of crazy and what do you get?"

"Obsessed."

"Passionate."

Sanity and Psychology

(This must be read as a rant: fast, with pauses only to breathe, and lots of emoting facial expressions) ;)

Once in a while I start to doubt my sanity. I'm sure it happens to lots of people. Every so often I'm sure we wake up from a day dream or stop suddenly in the middle of a task and realize that this scene looks an awful lot like something out of A Beautiful Mind and we start to question whether or not the person standing next to us is real and whether or not that emotional outburst was warranted.

Psychology is an interesting field. Not only do I find it fascinating, but I also find it useful and applicable to my life. I have learned things that have helped me better understand myself and that will probably lead me to continue to better understand myself and others in the future. My psychology classes put my mind at ease when it comes to days when I just don't understand myself. I know lots of people who have those days. They are the kind of days where you throw ping-pong paddles at your cousins' husbands because they won and you don't really know why you did it but you feel bad and then you run off and cry in a closet somewhere until you work up enough courage to find and tell your mom who tells you to apologize and you do but it's still weird to be around your cousin's husband for the rest of the evening. We've all had days like this. Maybe we don't all throw ping-pong paddles or markers at people or go around bonking people on the head, but maybe we say things we don't mean, or do things we might not otherwise have done.

I am a human being. Blast. More about that later. Psychiatrists make me nauseous . They could take a perfectly normal human being and turn them into a basket case just by talking to them. It's not that what they're saying isn't true, but they make it sound like you're the only one with a problem and that it's weird and "not normal." This is a lie. You are not the only one with a problem and it is normal. There are certain chemicals and reactions in the human brain that are triggered by intense situations and other stimuli. Our reactions as humans may be different one from another, but that doesn't mean that they're not still just reactions. This same thing happens in my non-fiction class. It's not that what my professor is saying is wrong, it's just that she lathers it with too much fluff and psychedelia that she makes it seem wrong. My fiction teacher could say the exact same thing but the way he says it makes me believe it, apply it, and move on. Such should be the world of psychiatry. Patients should come in, tell their problems, and the shrinks should explain to them what is going on in their brain and how to fix it. Here is an example: Instead of saying "you're feeling this way because you never loved your mother and your father told you were a loser, so you need to pay me another hundred dollars for another hour to talk it out" they would say "these feelings are being displaced from other things in your life that are bothering you, so you need to figure out what is really bothering you and stop that at the source so that what you are feeling now will stop." Wow! What a difference that makes! I said the exact same thing without causing turmoil or labeling anyone! I'm a genius. Einstein would be proud.

The only thing I will commend psychiatrists on is their encouragement of talking. We learned just the other day in my psychology class that talking about what you're feeling is helpful to your mental health. If you suppress feelings it's like stopping up a river: the water may not go down that path you stopped up anymore, but it will go somewhere. Talking is a great way to release emotions: it's a means of catharsis that's helpful. Catharsis (or blowing off steam) by exercise or listening to loud music--or whatever your coping strategy--is good, but it's still like putting up a dam: it just pushes the water somewhere else.

Not that any of this matters to anyone but me right now, but I just thought that maybe someone else might also benefit from the fruits of my Psychology class. I am a human being and I have issues. Or as my parents would say: Issue. But after much deliberation (and given the fact that I am no longer in the heat of my moody moment) I have come to the thoughtful and somewhat obvious conclusion that I come to after every such episode: I am human, I am female, and I am just fine. :)

~

Insanity is hereditary: I get it from my kids.

Weird is relative.

Normal is just the average of all the weirdos.

Sometimes I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

~

Today's Featured Quote:

Time is natures way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Disney

On Tuesday I informed my Fiction professor, shortly before class, that I wasn't feeling well and might be leaving class early. He then informed me that I was not allowed in his classroom that day; that I must go home and sleep and feel better. Thank you Dr. P. Well, I took half of his instructions: I went home...eventually. I went shopping for food first. Then I came home, ate dinner, did what homework was absolutely necessary for the next day, and then I played the piano for a little while. But the highlight of my day, and possibly my week, came at around nine thirty Tuesday evening.

It was too late to start a movie (for me) but it was too early to go to bed. So, I went on Youtube.com and found a whole collection of old Disney Short Animated Films. All of them were less than twenty minutes, most of them were musical, and a considerable portion of them were narrated by Sterling Holloway. Needless to say: Amazing night in the heart of good fun, awesome music, and fond memories. I must do this more often. :)

~

For those of you who would like to reminisce with me, here are the names of the shorts that I watched (all are available on Youtube):

Peter and the Wolf

Lambert the Sheepish Lion

Paul Bunyan

Golaith II

Ferdinand the Bull

Willie the Operatic Whale

They are all pretty much amazing. :)

~

"Sometimes the right path, is not the easiest one." Grandmother Willow, Pocahontas

"A flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." Emperor, Mulan

"Giving up is for rookies." Phil, Hercules

"The past can hurt, but the way I see if you can either run from it, or learn from it." -Rafiki, Lion King

"Get with the beat!" Baloo, Jungle Book

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the person you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?" -Prince Henry, Ever After

Me Time

In the last few weeks I have been working on finding a balance in my life between school, other outside activities (Debate mostly), and time for myself to do the things I'm interested in. The piano that now sits at the end of my bed is one of the things that fit into the last category. Another thing is my new "Belle-mode" on campus where I read books while walking between classes (this one perks a surprising amount of interest in people who walk by--especially professors). Both of these have been great ways for me to achieve some balance in my life between all of the necessities in my schedule. But, I have found, yet, another outlet for my energy every Monday and Wednesday at 1 o'clock after institute: pool. There is a billiard table located in the Institute building, and right after my institute class, before I go to Debate at 2:30, the table is vacant. Well, not anymore.

I have officially established a reputation with the receptionist who loans out the supplies. She expects me now. It's wonderful. I have the whole room to myself. It's quiet; perfect for gauging the sound of my break with every new game I start. Even having only done it for three days I am starting to see drastic improvements. My aim is improving, my control is much better, and I put more balls in the side pockets than all the corner pockets combined. I have now made a new goal on my life's "to-do list:" have the ability to hustle a pool table. In the short amount of time I've spent practicing thus far, I have had to rely quite heavily on luck. I will admit that although I try to be patient with the game I play against myself, I often become irritate and just aim for the nearest ball to the cue ball and hit it with as much force as I can. Every time I have done this a ball has gone into a pocket somewhere, several times two balls will go in, and once three balls were put away with this "angry" hit. I need to stop being rewarded for these careless hits or I might never improve. But in the words of my father: "I'd rather be lucky than good any day." Amen. :)

Either way, I'm glad that I have another form of "Me Time."

~

P.S. About the Belle-mode: if you ever want people to pay attention to you, walk around in with your nose in a book. Everyone will immediately want to know what you're reading that is so fascinating that you can't stop to walk from place to place. You will instantly be popular. Your professors will also want to know what you're reading; possibly even to the point of distracting you so that you will become irritated by them stealing the book off your desk while you're not looking to read the back of the book so that they can judge you on your choice of literature outside of their classroom. But that's only a possibility. :)

~

"With a dreamy, far off look, and her nose stuck in a book; what a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle." -Beauty and the Beast

"Writers sometimes seem brightly colored and fascinating, but really those are just nature's way of warning you off. We're like tropical toads. Oh so pretty! Want to touch the toady! Except: poisonous skin that kills with one touch. Beware of writer." -Chuck Wendig

"If I fret over tomorrow, I have little joy today." -Llonio [Taran Wanderer by Lloyd Alexander]

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Happily ever after? I don't think that's quite what you meant. But one way or another, I rather think I will." -Cimorene [Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede]

The Bells Tolled

There's an old saying from somewhere that says "Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it." To a certain extent, I agree with this phrase. You should not be flippant with your wishes. Wishing is not an activity where sarcasm is appreciated or welcomed. Only genuine wishing here, please. I have been, several times, the victim of wishing for something without really thinking about the consequences. When I was around nine, I thought that glasses were cool and I wished I could wear them. A few years later, my rash and unthought-through wish came true. Of course, with that example, it is conceivable that it would have happened anyway, seeing as both my parents wore glasses, and therefore carried that gene that had a good biological chance of being passed to me regardless of whether I wished for it when I was nine years old. But I'm sure that deep in the forgotten recesses of my mind there are other examples of this, and I'm sure that all of you reading this have already thought of examples in your own life. If you haven't, hurry and think of one now and pretend you were being an analytical and active reader. I promise I won't tell anyone.

Sufficed to say that you should not be impulsive when wishing. But, it is actually the contrary side of the above mentioned saying that I want to talk about. (I led off with the opposing argument to give contrast to the point I am trying to make and also so that I can use it as a point of reference for building up my point of view--and to think that I keep asking myself why I coach Debate)

You see, there is this weird, backwards thinking in our society. We will recklessly drop negative comments like, "I wish she would get the plague so that she would stop afflicting me with her over-bubbly, noxious personality." And when the above mentioned "she" gets in a car accident and nearly dies two weeks later we immediately think that we somehow jinxed her life and we suddenly feel guilty for having wished evil upon her in the first place. In juxtaposition, when a bright and glorious fluorescent dream stands in front of us, we hesitate and refuse to reach for it because "it'll never come true anyway." On a smaller scale, we sometimes won't ask a question because we're sure the answer will be no.

Here is further illustration of my point through a story: I was in Scranton, Pennsylvania for some unknown reason and was walking around enjoying myself when I ran into a very old church building. You know the type: the ones that look like a cheap knock-off of Notre Dame with a small 10-bell bell tower and only five stained glass windows in the front. But, I had this deep fascination with the building and went inside, wondering if I could get at tour. The custodian walked me around and showed me the main attractions and at the conclusion of the tour asked if I had any questions. I thought I would take a chance on an odd request. I asked if I could see the bell tower. Five minutes later I was walking up a set of stairs that looked as though they were right out of the end of the first National Treasure movie: nothing but termite damage and rot holding them up. We stopped at a door that lead to the space above the ceiling of the chapel. I stood on a five inch thick bearing wall support beam where if I had fallen to either side the flimsy ceiling underneath would have collapsed and I would have fallen sixty feet to my death or serious impalement. After this we climbed up yet more flights of stairs (these ones burned from a fire years ago) to the small trap door that led to the bell tower. It was amazing. I bet Quasimodo himself was the only person who had a better view then what I had. I got to carve my name in the wood and we got to be in the tower while the bells tolled. It is one of the coolest memories I have; and all because I asked.

I was careful what I wished for, and I got it. I know it's been said over and over again until our ears are sore that we don't ever wish for the things we really want because we're afraid that we won't get them. Well, here's an idea: If we wish for something and it does come true, great, but if we wish for something and it doesn't come true, are we any worse off then we were if we hadn't wished for it? Many people would answer: Yes, because I would have failed. My rebuttal: Who cares? Failure will never be the antagonist in your story, it will only be a conflict. These conflicts can beat against us and tear us down, and no matter how may times we beat it, it still comes back. In the immortal words of Benjamin Franklin: "Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and it will every now and then peep out and show itself." (never mind he was really talking about pride) But, we are the ones who get to chose whether or not the conflict, whether or not failure wins the battle and gets the girl (or guy as the case may be). WE are the ones who get to decide.

Dream realistic, but dream big. Believe me, you can do both. And don't be afraid to just ask; you might be pleasantly surprised.

~

"Never hold back you step for a moment. Never doubt that your courage will grow. Hold your head even higher, and into the fire we go!" -The Scarlet Pimpernel

"If you think you can't, you're right. If you think you can, you're also right." -Unknown

"When facing a difficult task, act as though it is impossible to fail. If you're going after Moby Dick, take along the tartar sauce." -H. Jackson Brown

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Expect the best. Prepare for the worse. Capitalize on what comes." -Unknown

En France...

Le francais est etonnate! Well, at least in my opinion. I had a rather interesting delusion the other day. I pictured myself with a young child (my own) and I was speaking to them in French. Their father (faceless at this point) then spoke to them in English. Then it occurred to me how awesome it would be to have bilingual children! It didn't matter that I'm currently learning Spanish and not French. French it was and rightly so. As useful and practical as Spanish is, French has a little more sophistication. I still want to follow through and learn Spanish, but I would then like to learn French. I don't know where I'd have a use for either of these languages, but there is something very appealing about the idea of be trilingual.

But beyond the language, I find France as a country to be quite fascinating. Over the past couple of weeks for absolutely no reason whatsoever* I have fallen in love with France. Some of my favorite movies/plays/books of all time take place (at least in part) in France: The Three Musketeers, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Les Miserables, The Count of Monte Cristo, Beauty and the Beast, Chocolate, etc.

I also have an unexplainable new interest with French history. This might be due to the several books I've read recently that take place in France between 1600-1800. But regardless, I am very intrigued by the country. They aided America during the Revolution not 20 years before their own. I don't know why these things fascinate me so much, but they do. I feel a sudden urge to go to Paris like in Sabrina and do some sort of internship and learn to speak French. ("You speak no French yes?" "No." "No?" "Yes. Could you repeat the question?")

Eventually. :)

Au revoir!

*I lied. There were reasons. :)

Oh! And Happy Binary Day! (101110)

~

"If you keep waiting for tomorrow, you'll find yourself with a whole lot of empty yesterdays."

"The French don't care what they do as long as they pronounce it properly." --My Fair Lady

"Woman was created for our destruction, and from her all our miseries arise." --Alexandre Dumas (The three Musketeers)

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Fools aren't born. Pretty girls make them in their spare time." --101 Dalmations

Happiness

It has been so long since my last post that I was beginning to wonder why I had a blog. I felt like I had to write something, and based on some feedback I have been getting lately, I thought it would be appropriate to write something happy and uplifting instead of... what I usually write. So, here it goes:

~

I have been so happy since last Friday. On that day I drove up north to Logan to spend the weekend. I saw my favorite play twice (The Scarlet Pimpernel), spent some time with my sister (not arguing), got to see one of my best friends, found my box of piano music, and got a piano as a gift from my parents. All in all the weekend was amazing and the residual effects of this happiness are still with me seven days later.

It is infrequent that I obsess over things, but when I do, I am well aware that I can get annoying. I apologize. But before everyone starts telling me to shut up about The Scarlet Pimpernel, I want you to consider that I am happy. There are so few things in my life that give me explicit happiness and when they do come, I want to hold on to them for as long as I possibly can. I know that seeing the show twice, listening to the soundtrack, playing the music on the piano, watching the movie, and reading the book in five days time is a little excessive. But I regret nothing. I am happy.

The other major source of happiness right now is the piano. I have lived without a piano at my disposal for over two years now. Until then, I've always had the piano as a physical and metal outlet. Not having one has been hard. I know that some people don't have as tight of a connection to music, but it really is a wonderful thing for me. These past few days have been so wonderful because I can just go into my room and play. I love my parents' piano. It was the piano I learned to play on, so it has a great amount of sentimental value to me, and I just love to play so much. I've been playing probably more than I should the last few days, but, as I said before: I regret nothing. I am happy.

Over the last seven days I've realized that I take great happiness in taking time for myself. Perhaps this is why I have been so miserable lately. I have been doing nothing but going to school, going to Debate, and doing homework for well over a month now. (That and I've had an obnoxious cough for the same amount of time). But I think it's time I start taking some quality time for myself. Not just any time like for watching TV or sleeping; but quality time. Time spent doing something different than normal: going to see a play, renting a good movie, going out to dinner, etc. I know it sounds selfish, but I just think I need to set some time aside for me.

I've been so happy the last few days and I want to find a way for it to last. Anyway, I'm sure this post is really weird and random, and seemingly out of character for the normal, cynical Amy. But, I thought I would give myself and the few people who will read this a break. :)

~

"Never regret anything that at one time made you smile."

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

"The words tell you what to think, the music tells you what to feel."

~

Today's Featured Quote brought to you by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton:

"La, but someone has to strike a pose and bear the weight of well tailored clothes. Each species needs a sex that's fated to be highly decorated. That is why the Lord created men!"

The few, the proud...

Ladies and Jellyspoons,

I would like to announce that I have officially been accepted into an elite group of people. Having proven my abilities and my standards of behavior and conduct I have shown my quality and I now take my rightful place beside those with whom I stand. After a lengthy process of application and interviewing, follow up interviews and practical training/skills testing, I have been offered--and have accepted--a place besides those like me. I look forward to this opportunity with mixed feelings. The task will not be easy. It will require a level head, an ability to make snap decisions, and may even result in loosing the respect and good opinions of those I would call my friends. But I will take it with a grain of salt and strive through the hard times with quiet dignity and grace. Proudly, I announce my decision to join forces with The Whistle-blowers.

~

My dad often feels like he's the "bad guy". He's the guy who won't put up with the crap and calls people on the cards. He doesn't put up with people breaking the rules and he doesn't tolerate when people bend them either. He doesn't expect too much of anyone. Common courtesy and a shred of human decency is not too much to expect of anyone, regardless of job status, ethnicity, religion, culture, age, or anything else. My dad is a Whistle-blower. And, by some cruel trick of fate, I have also grown up to be a Whistle-blower.

It's a difficult thing: trying to decide whether or not something is wrong enough to call someone out on. It's hard to decide whether or not asking someone to treat you as another human being instead of treating you based on a bias of any kind is worth the fight. Is it worth the trouble? Am I simply behind the times; living by a code of ethics long since forgotten in the dust and sweat and blood of our ancestors? I try not to hold grudges and I like to think that I am always willing to give people a chance to change (after all, I do it for myself often enough). But where do you draw the line between what is tolerable--something petty to turn the other cheek over--and what is inexcusable--the disregard for the life and feelings of another human being? This is the challenge of the Whistle-blowers: asking ourselves in every circumstance whether something is right, and whether it's worth fighting for. We are not "above" anyone else as far as principles, morals, ethics, or character. We just have loud mouths about it.

After today I have realized that my position as a Whistle-blower is going to cost me. And I hate it. I know hate is a strong word, but I am not using it lightly. I hate having to choose between my personal code of ethics or morals, and the friendship or respect of someone else. And, in cases like these, more than anything, I hate causing pain to anyone. I hate burning bridges (though I do like fire) and I hate the contradiction between the pain that I have felt over an incident and the pain I feel after trying to fix it. There is no way to win.

However, my dad has figured out something that I, as a girl and as a youth, have yet to learn. He has learned the power of prevention. Not putting up with crap in the first place is much easier on both levels then trying to fix it once it does happen. I am very emotional and often have a hard time controlling my feelings. Because of this I end up being the victim quite frequently and try to find solace in my efforts to right what has already been wronged. There is a poem called "A Fence or an Ambulance" that's main point captures this idea: "Then an old sage remarked, 'It's a marvel to me, that people give far more attention, to repairing results than to stopping the cause, when they'd much better aim at prevention.'" For those few who may have wondered, this is the reason for my previous entry regarding humor. I have accepted my place as a Whistle-blower, but I do so no longer as a victim. I intend now to defend myself with humor (as I have been doing for years in other matters) and I also intend to defend myself with a spirit of compassion, understanding, and empathy. I do not think I, or anyone is better than any other person. I just think that all of us can be better than we are. I'm starting today.

~

"Always do what is right. Because regardless of what happens in life--good or bad--you will know it was the right thing."

"The spirit yields two fruits: the first is to know what to do, the second is the strength to do it."

"He can who thinks he can."

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."-Henry Ward Beecher

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Wag more. Bark less." :-)

Humor and Comparisons

Two weeks ago I was excited to go back to school. Last week I had some complications and was suddenly worried that school this next semester wouldn't be everything I was hoping. The next day I had a bad experience with another human being that sent me over the edge wishing that I was going back to the stress of school at that moment. You know: when does my plane leave? kind of thing. I'm amazed by the perspective a little comparison creates.

After this bad experience I went to speak with my mom about it and told her I was concerned. I explained that everything I've done for the past few years (with the exception of going to college in general) has had a promise to be better, and almost always turned out to be an experience not worth repeating. Even the idea that 'well, this semester was hard, but I'm sure the next one will be better' has only been true once. My mother's response? "You've just had some bad luck."

... Bad luck for three years? Thanks mom. Now I'm not worried. I wonder if I broke a mirror that I've forgotten about...

Actually I am still quite excited about next semester. I have a new apartment that will give me more than three times the space that I had last year. I have new ideas for cheap/good eating too. The one thing that sincerely worries me is finding a car (specifically one that won't cause problems), but other than that I have good classes that I'm excited for, generally, Debate will be going on again, which I always look forward to, I'll have a job (as far as I know), and my current schedule will grant me all of my evenings free after 4pm. Can everyone see how good this sounds? I'm still worried.

But, I've decided to make a personality change. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. I am going to solve everything with humor. No more moping about when things go wrong, no more letting other people walk all over me and effect my mood. I will still distinguish between the appropriate times to be, and not to be funny, but I have decided to stop over reacting about everything; I will simply laugh it off. That is my resolution for today.

~

Oh, and I taught Beehives yesterday at church and after class I heard one of the girls telling her mom what an awesome lesson I gave because I was so hysterical. I'll take what I can get. I may not be the most "spiritual" teacher, but I can sure make em laugh. :)

~

"If you can't be chic be odd." -The Grass is Greener

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"You are who you choose to be." -The Iron Giant

"Change will come when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pains of changing." -magnet on my friend's fridge

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"When setting about a difficult task, act as though it is impossible to fail. If you're going after Moby Dick, take along the tartar sauce." -some famous football coach

Now

Two movies to start:

Addams Family: there is a meal scene where Wednesday asks, "Will you pass the salt." Her mother responds with, "What do we say Wednesday?" She finishes, "Now."

National Treasure: after the Declaration of Independence is stolen the FBI shows up and one agent mentions that someone gave them a tip that the Declaration was going to be stolen. The head man in charge asks for further information but the other agent explains that, "there was no file opened, we didn't find the information credible." The head man then asks, "How about now?"

So, what do these two movies have in common?

Answer: Absolutely nothing. But these two scenes, do have something in common. One word. Now.

My dad once told me that he thought new years resolutions were silly because you should be able to change any part of your life at any time. You shouldn't have to wait for a special occasion or a specific/designated time during the year to make a change. You should be able to make changes NOW. And, that sounds wonderful. But like just about everything in life, it's easier said than done; especially for me.

My life (especially while at college) is broken up into three segments: two semesters and a summer. And, generally speaking, each of these segments have a particular flow to them based on the schedule they include and various other points details. I agree that changes can be made at any point, but they are easier to make at a breaking point. Last semester is a perfect example. I was stressed out beyond belief for a good part of the semester because I over-booked myself with classes, an additional phlebotomy class, coaching Debate, giving tours of the state and surrounding areas to visiting foreigners, internships at the hospital, and having surgery. But even after all that calmed down to a point where there was very little happening, I found it very hard to change the pace until all my finals were turned in and I was leaving for the summer. Then, things changed dramatically...

And, once again, I find myself in a rut. I confess (and understand I make many already jealous friends angry at me by doing so) that I am not enjoying my summer in Hawaii as much as I would like. I'm struggling with some people I have to work with at my job, I'm struggling with the idea of living with my parents again for more than a couple weeks, I'm struggling with my frugality, I'm struggling with exercise/good eating, and on top of all of that I have a hematoma in my arm that hurts really bad when I extend my elbow. So, life is basically good. ;)

I know I have very little to complain about, but that doesn't explain why I always feel as though I'm making zero progress in my life. My happiness isn't always where I am, but where the path I'm on is leading me. I always have big plans...for later. I never feel as though I'm in a position to start doing what I want to do. And, for the time being, I'm almost certain that's because I'm not in charge of my life as much as I was three months ago.

I'm looking forward to school starting again. So many things that are already set up for next semester seem to have me headed in the right direction. But it keeps me waiting. I keep feeling as though I can't live NOW.

I want to live NOW. I want to live my life, my way, NOW. And I know what everybody would say to me, "So why don't you?" And I'll tell you. I don't know.

~

"If you keep waiting for tomorrow, you'll find yourself with a whole lot of empty yesterdays."

"The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect different results."

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." --Gandalf

Rambling

There's always something, isn't there? Life is good...except for_________ (fill in the blank). I take a lot of breath saying: I'll be fine when__________ (fill in the blank). And I usually am. For a day or so. And then, well, then something comes up. It's usually a small thing; something trivial that won't matter in the long run, or something I have no control over, or two or three minutes worth of difference. I know, I know: I need to stop complaining.

My most recent status on facebook was: I'm In-de-pen-dent. Or, if it wouldn't have screwed up the movie line: I WANT to be In-de-pen-dent. I want my family to be there for me and be supportive of my decisions. I want friends who talk to me and care about me. And, eventually, I want a husband who is the perfect man for me. But for right now (given as I have no prospects) there are times when I just want to be left alone. I need my space. I need my own time and my own life; my own choices. Basically, I'm unreasonable and unrealistic. Either that or I'm moody. Or I'm upset because I lost my iPod. Yeah. Any of those are good options.

*sigh* Sometimes I wish I wasn't so messed up...

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!" --BoM

Vampires and Choices

Well, another leg of my summer has started. I got a job last week as a Lab Assistant (Phlebotomist) at the North Hawaii Community Hospital. And, since phlebotomists are known blood suckers, they are deemed "vampires". I'm going to go out and buy some Dracula scrubs. :)

I also started a tutoring job with a high school junior. She wants to improve her academic writing abilities over the summer so I'm tutoring her through the month of June. We've had two lessons so far. I can't even begin to explain how hard it is to teach academic writing and not creative writing. I feel that creative writing is a great way to find out your particular writing style and that in turn can help you in academic writing because it gives you your own voice. I, as a Debate coach, also feel that some of the basic fundamentals of speech writing are extremely helpful in writing essays and such and HOLY CRAP THERE'S A COCKROACH IN MY BED!!!

-(seven minutes later)-

Ahem. Excuse me, was having a small nervous breakdown. I'm back now.

I'm learning quite a bit about teaching as I'm trying to help this girl and this tutoring experience will also help me get some experience and ideas for the creative writing class I'll be teaching in July and August. So, basically in about a two day period I went from having no job and doing almost nothing to having two jobs (with a third later in the summer) and hardly any free time. I would like to find a happy medium between these two extremes, but upon reviewing my previous entry about that, I don't think it's likely...

~

I have decided that I am a free spirit. I do not like being tied down anywhere, by anything. It's been almost two years since I've had a job and it's hard to know that I am now completely bound by the hours set for me. Even with school I could choose not to go to class on any given day. Granted, I don't skip class a lot, but it's the idea of having the option. I don't like not having the choice. I'll give you an example: In my Educational Technology class last semester, my teacher always took over our computer monitors so they all projected the power point. Now, she didn't do this so we all could see better, she did it so we would pay attention. First of all, in my opinion, any teacher who has to force attention by taking over your monitor or grading you on attendance is obviously making up for a lack of anything valuable. Second, and more pertaining to me, it's a violation of my personal freedom. Yes, I know it sounds like a silly and dramatic thing to say but it is. It is taking away my right to choose whether or not I will pay attention in class. Given the choice, I would probably pay attention more than if the choice was taken from me. I am more inclined to go out of my way not to pay attention if you don't let me choose. Whoa, this is sounding a lot like the two plans of Satan and Jesus. Go figure. So, this is one of the reasons I am a little apprehensive about the job thing. My supervisor basically said that I don't have any sick days and if I can't come in, even for emergency purposes, I'll be on thin ice. Basically. And this is the same way for me: I wouldn't purposefully not come in to work, or lie about being able to come in to work, and I'm not anticipating any emergencies. I just hate people telling me that I can't. Apparently I'm more of a rebel than I thought. If you tell me I shouldn't, then I probably won't. If you tell me I can't, then I will want to so bad that I just might.

Aren't I a messed up child? :)

~

"If I had two faces, do you really think I'd wear this one?" -Abraham Lincoln

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." -Gandalf

"Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach." -Tom Robbins

"For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe, the horse was lost. For want of a horse, the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail." -Proverbial Rhyme

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." -Winston Churchill

Sympathy and Choices

First, I must confess: Yes, I did change my blog. I did this for a few reasons. The primary reason being that I was ready for a change. In the same way I like to rearrange the furniture every few months, I thought it was time for blog rearrangement. I changed the name because I figured out how and that was cool, and also because my dad didn't get it. I have replaced it, but for those of you who may not have understood it either: quintessential is like saying the "epitome of" and miscellany is, of course, dealing with miscellaneous. Therefore, the title is like saying the Epitome of Miscellaneous. Unfortunately that doesn't sound nearly as good as Quintessential Miscellany, but it's okay. I have changed it now and I am perfectly happy with its new name. Undoubtably I will change it again in a few months. :)

~

Now, a story:

I was sitting at the kitchen window eating breakfast and I saw a bird eating something in the grass just outside. So, being my childish, obnoxious self I tapped on the window to get the bird's attention. It looked around for the source of the noise and upon finding nothing, returned to eating. Some 5-year-old subconscious being inside of me must have thought this was great fun, because I wanted to do it again. So, once more I tapped on the window, expecting the bird to do the exact same thing. After it heard the noise again it looked up and glanced around the yard. I expected that upon not seeing anything for a second time, the bird would simply continue its meal. But it didn't. I looked around, turned it head, looked up, looked down, looked around again, but it didn't continue eating. It was scared. I could tell. Finally the bird stood up looked around very purposefully and flew away. Suddenly I felt bad. I was only having a bit of childish good fun. But I hadn't meant to actually scare the bird. I hadn't realized that my small, stupid actions would have such an effect on the tiny creature. So, that is my story for today. Just one more example of how obnoxious I can be. However, I think the fact that I felt bad afterwards makes me human and forgivable of the offense. :)

~

Almost everything in our world is a matter of perception. Whether life is horrible or wonderful is based a lot on matters of opinion and point of view. Your brain is a super computer and it will believe what you tell it. I read a book--well part of a book--for my psychology class in high school. It was called What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by some really hard to remember and hard to pronounce doctor. Anyway, the book talked about people who could talk themselves out of bad habits. People who smoked, every time they went to grab a cigarette told them selves that they don't smoke, even though they knew they did. This doctor explained that even if they lit up a cigarette and started smoking, they kept saying that they didn't smoke. Eventually they would all reach for a cigarette, look at it and say, "What I am doing? I don't smoke." It was an amazing phenomenon. It is often said that if you think you can, you can and if you think you can't, you can't. People who go around saying they're clumsy are probably clumsy for the simple reason that they think they are. It sounds really basic and really cliche, but it's really true. Everything that happens in our lives leaves a mark. But we get to decide how big the mark is and how much of a part it is going to play in the big picture. Things that happen to you in life should never be used as excuses, or crutches. Recognizing that something in your life is effecting you negatively can be good, only if you then make an effort to stop it. Everybody has bad things in their lives, some worse than others. But your future has nothing to do with your past or the circumstances you live in during the present. The only thing keeping you from anything is your choice. Abraham Lincoln said that "people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is a choice. Success and potential are choices. What will you choose?

~

"What a job it is to see someone of good cheer, who when others because of an unpleasant happening or development live in angry silence or vocal disgust, meets the situation with cheerful endurance and good spirits." --Marvin J. Ashton

"In this galaxy, there is a mathematical probability of 3 million earth-type planets. And in all the universe, 3 million galaxies like this. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us." --Dr. McCoy

"Expect the best, prepare for the worst, capitalize on what comes."

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in te universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." --Calvin

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"A long life may not be good enough; but a good life is long enough."

Perspective

My mother tells me that I need to try to look prettier (wear my hair down and put on more make-up) if I want guys to like me. My father says my mother's crazy. Hmm...

~

I know where I want to be. Really, I do. I could sit down and write out all of the things I want and where it is I really want to be. But in an effort to try to get there, I sometimes have to deviate from the path I would like to take for financial or other reasons. Subsequently, I seem to be getting only further away from my goals. Not that the detours I'm taking are "bad" or that the experience they provide isn't useful to my life; but it's hard to watch myself going down a road that I feel isn't leading me where I'd like to be. Some of the past detours I've taken have proved to be educational experiences that have taught me something valuable; something that turns out to be good for me. Thus, I end up having wonderful hind-sight and horrible "living in the moment" skills. I oft times seem so focused on getting somewhere that I get lost on the road. And yet, I still know exactly where I want to be; only by any measurable standards, I never seem to get much closer.

Such is my life... as always.

In the mean time, I have a job interview at the hospital tomorrow at 10 a.m. for a temporary/summer phlebotomy position. Wish me luck; I would love this job to work out for the summer.

~

"In many ways the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, and yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our criticism. We thrive on negative criticism which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something; and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent. The new needs friends..." --Anton Ego

"All you need is ignorance and confidence and success is sure." --Mark Twain

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." --Mark Twain

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity." --Albert Einstein

Paradise

My first day in Hawaii was, well, not as expected. My first view that I got of the land from the airplane was of dark black volcanic rock, which stretched for miles. Not in a bad way, but not what I had expected. The air was thick enough to cut and it was a little overcast. Still, not bad, just odd. Hawai'i is beautiful. They have all sorts of climates here. They have desert, tropical, temperate, and one that looks like the African Savannah. It's pretty cool. There is one stretch of road that looks like you are driving through Colorado. And then they have the beach. Beautiful, warm water (and it's the off season).

So, we came to the house--my father's employer's house where we're staying. I had asked some pretty straight forward questions to my dad about the house. How much room there was, would we be really crowded, appliances, shoes or no shoes, sleeping arrangements, bathroom situation, and insect inhabitants. To these questions, my father assured me the house would be nice, not too crowded, with functioning appliances, no shoes allowed, and we would be sharing a room and a bathroom. That didn't sound too bad. Then he told me they had cockroaches. My next question was when does the next plane leave. But, my father tried to convince me to stay by informing me that he only saw one cockroach every three days or so. Well, that wasn't so bad, but still, I don't like bugs. Any bugs. At first glance, the house was about what my dad had told me. Pretty nice. We had stopped off for some food and while my dad was putting it away, I went to take a shower and unpack a little. All was going pretty well until right before we went to bed. I went to brush my hair one last time and found a visitor. We named him Buford. See, when dad told me he only saw one cockroach ever three days, he failed to mention that he hadn't seen one for two days. It was not a good way to end the evening. Buford and I are not friends.

The next day, we were going to go snorkeling. And we did. But before we got a chance, I stepped on some stupid thorn of some kind. I got it out but my foot hurt for the rest of the day. Eating here isn't a big deal, but my dad doesn't do a lot of it. I do. We're working it out, but it's hard when I'm hungry every four hours and he's not. He keeps asking how we can eat the same amount of food, he is twice my size, and I'm still hungry. My answer: I don't know. We went down by this amazing little beach last evening and it was so pretty. It was so calm and peaceful and the water was warm. Very nice.

So, today I wanted to go into town--looking for jobs, check mail and such. No car. My dad has the only means of transportation. So we borrowed a bike from his employer, Tom. Bike= flat tires, rusty, broken petal(s), hurtful seat/handles, wobbly. We got the tires pumped up but on the way home I had to ride against the wind, uphill, on the bike that almost tipped over every few inches. Not so much. It's one of the few things that really get me frustrated: not having a way to get places. Until I had a car down at college, I was close to miserable. I am reaching a point of frustration very quickly about that. And yes, I know my parents are working on it. Yes, I can walk the mile and a half to town and back. No, I do not want to do that.

Anyway, this is a compilation of my first few days here. The first few days of my first experience in Hawaii.

Oh, and right now I am a woman and I am moody. :)

It will get better...

~

"If at first you don't succeed, swallow all evidence that you tried."

"If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished."

"A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to stick in his mouth."

"The Lord in his wisdom made the fly/ and then forgot to tell us why." -Ogden Nash

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." -Marty Feldman

Play It Again Sam

This summer marks another beginning of something new. And yet, something that will probably be strikingly similar to the way things have been before. I always want to start again; whether it's the summer, a new semester, or something else, I'm always wanting to start over again. And yet, everything always seems to stay very similar to the way it always has been. I do think part of the problem is, however, that I don't know where it is I want to be; what it is I want to change. I want to be more sure of what is in store for my life beyond next week, but I don't know where I want to be. I don't know what I want to do with my major, but I want to graduate. In two years. So I can be done with school. But I have no idea what I want to be, and what I want to do. I am only going in circles. It doesn't matter where I go or what I do, I never seem to make any progress.

I feel like someone keeps whispering "Play it again Sam," when all I really want to do is hear a new song. I don't know which song; any new song will be fine for now.

Intelligence is Relative

I have just finished writing an eight page theoretical paper for my Introduction to Critical Literature and Theory class. Since the paper is written to an audience that would not have a knowledge of theory, when I reached the six page mark I wanted to read the paper to someone to test it out. I called my mom. I asked her if I could read her the paper; she said yes. I read the paper slowly (something I never do) and enunciated each word clearly. Given the nature of the paper I felt it appropriate to compensate for the conversation being on the phone rather than in person. At the conclusion of what I had written so far I told my mom I was done and she said, "Wow. I didn't understand any of that. That is really deep." She then proceeded to tell me how smart I sounded. The best part was that she seem surprised by this display of intelligence. I think she meant it as a compliment, but I can't help but feel it's because I probably don't act nearly as smart as I am. Either way, it was nice to have finally elevated myself to a level of intelligence recognizable to my mother. :)

On the note of intelligence, however, I have a complaint. Intelligence is only relative to what you are talking about. Most people would argue that a doctor has more intelligence than a contractor. Why? Is the field of medicine more important than the field of construction, or mechanics? This standard of intelligence in our society is leaning towards "the more formal education you have, the smarter you must be." People who do not excel in the maths or sciences feel that they are not as smart as people in those fields. New Flash: That statement is FALSE. Intelligence is only relative to what you are talking about. I could talk your ear off about grammar and the syntax and history of English as a language, but I don't know hardly anything about music theory and major and minor inverted chords. Just because someone is not a genius in one particular field of study does not classify them as unintelligent. Unless your only knowledge is in video games; video game knowledge does not equate intelligence. Personal opinion. Sorry.

~

"If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden

"Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin

"A picture is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know." -The Brothers Bloom

"Tolle. Lege = Take. Read." -Latin Translation

"In youth we learn. In age we understand." - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

"I love Plato, but I love truth more." -Aristotle

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"If we'd only stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time." -Edith Wharton

Savor

I have found that if you eat your favorite food everyday, pretty soon it ceases to be your favorite. Things which at first were filled with a rich taste have begun to loose their savor. And I don't just mean food.

~

I have also found that at the end of the day it doesn't matter where you are, what you're doing, or who you're with--it's all just life. Oh there are wonderful moments and where you are, what you're going or who you're with can impact things a great deal, but everything is part of life. People can go on for hours about how lucky I am to be living with my parents in Hawaii this summer. I agree with them. But, for some reason, it doesn't seem as far fetched as they make it out to be. Maybe it's how I've been raised, or maybe the fact that I've had some pretty "impossible" things happen to me; but in my mind, things that happen aren't so much surrealistic as just new and different.

But these new and different things loose savor for me fairly quickly. I get bored with things sooner than I would like. I don't want to continue doing what I'm bored with, but I wish that I didn't get bored with things so quickly. The feeling is kind of like saying, "well, that was fun, might do it again; what's next?" I seem to lack satisfaction in where I am intellectually. I constantly want to be doing new things. Everything I do, or have done, is wonderful and I continue to have interest in it, but I also find that I almost always want to be learning something else. Something new. But this added indecision and constant change of interest is not helping my desire for stability.

My life just changes so quickly. The years really do fly by...

~

"I try to take one day at a time, but lately, several days have attacked me at once."

"The only thing constant in life is change."

"Change is good."-"Yeah but it's not easy."

"I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it."

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it."

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Some things just don't matter."

Backwards

"Ladles and Jellyspoons, I come before you to stand behind you, to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, there'll be a women's meeting for men only. Wear your best clothes if you haven't any. If you can come please stay at home. Admission os free; pay at the door. Take a seat and sit on the floor. It doesn't matter where you sit, the man behind you is sure to spit. Thank you for your undivided attention. Our next feature will be the four corners of the Round Table."

~

I am under the distinct impression that Freud is a complete moron. Enough said. I also think that our world has some issues. On days when I am upset, people ignore me (probably because I scare them). When I'm calm, content and "at peace" with life, people ask me with concern, "Is everything okay?" And at times when I'm hyper and extremely happy all my friends ask me "What is with you today?" Am I the only one who finds this backwards?

~

"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!" --Ghost Busters

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." --Bob Hope

"To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best." --William Thackery

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of your will." --Epicticus

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --Winston Churchill

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"Always know the rules...that way you know how to break them."

Nostalgia

Tomorrow always comes with the silent assurance that things will be better than they were today. Because the day is over once you fall asleep; and there in your dreams is the energy and spirit needed to wake up one more time and try again. It is the dreams, remembered or forgotten, that bring life and creativity to the dawn of a new day. You may not see the connection and you may not understand the need for these dreams, but they foster new and precious thoughts in your unconscious that show themselves in the form of ideas that could only have come from deep in your imagination. And what what better kind of thoughts to carry us through another day of impossibilities, than those that have already conquered the impossible...

~

Looking back, it really was about everything everyone said it would be about. It was about the car--an old run-down Chevy truck that smelled of guacamole and only fit three people in the cab; course, I always had at least five. It was about the house--a hovel in the ground that had no lockings doors, wallpaper inspired from a country scene of a poorly made Jane Austen movie, and carpet that looked like vomit and didn't smell too different. The house was falling apart but it was always full of friends. It was about the vacations--the camping trips in rain storms where everything got wet, the island trips to the islands they don't show in the brochures for a reason...several reasons, and the road-trips with no pre-thought destination that take you into the lives of those you care about more than any other drive could do. Yep. People told me all my life that it was all about the cars, the house, and the vacations. And I don't think they'll ever know how right they were.

~

"We as humans want thing to last longer than they can. And we fool ourselves into thinking that even though we move away and move on, we can still keep things the way they used to be. But we can't. And we're left with a sweet sense of melancholy; a yearning for the past that makes us want the present to be that much better. A remembrance of child-hood adventures, high school sweethearts, and the good times that get better with the passing of years that we want to pass on to our kids. While location can pretty much end a relationship as it was, it can also create new ones with our memories; the kodachrome images of the past that we show on gently humming slide projectors, while sipping creams sodas in the quiet dark." --CEH

~

It's funny how nostalgia can set in so quickly. Sometimes it happens when you watch the sunset and you remember how it felt to see it the first time. Sometimes it's the taste of Bing cherries on a summer afternoon that takes you back in the years to another summer afternoon. It's watching your children take their first steps, their first soccer game, their first day of school...or their last. It's watching a movie you haven't seen since forever ago and still remembering all the lines. It's when you're driving down a long road, and you put in a cassette tape that you thought only existed in your memories. It's sorting through boxes of memorabilia and remembering everything between the tears. And all these things stay with you. The feeling of time gone by and the memories of all the good and bad times that fit together like puzzle pieces. That's what life is all about.

~

"I don't know where we're goin' but there's no use bein' late."--Quigley Down Under

"Time is nature's way of stopping everything from happening at once."

"Not all those who wonder are lost." --J.R.R. Tolkien

"This is my day of opportunity. I will not waste it." --Pres. Monson

"Woman was created for our destruction; and from her all our miseries arise."--The Three Musketeers; Alexander Dumas

"Success will come when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change."

"If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0" :)

Luck

I'd like to pick a fight with the person who says that luck doesn't exist. Today I wanted to go to the movies with a friend of mine. We go to the theatre and get there about twenty minutes before the film starts. The credit card machine breaks down so all the people paying cash get to go ahead of us while they try to fix it. Of the four of us, on paid with cash. My friend Laney went right in front of me and paid with a card and then when they go to swipe my card, the machine breaks again and we find out they're sold out. So two of us have tickets and two of us don't. The two with tickets decided to see the show and my other friend and I drive north to the other theatre in town to see if the movie has a showing there soon and if we can get into that show. The show starts a half hour later there so we have plenty of time to get tickets. That is, would have had plenty of time if their credit card machines weren't acting up too. So, my friend got her ticket with a credit card right before I did and then the whole system shuts down. We wait in line until ten minutes after the movie has started for her to get her money back. We drive back to the other theatre in the hopes that we can purchase tickets for a later showing of the movie, but they still won't take anything but cash. We spend almost an hour and a half driving around and standing in line just to find out that we'll have to see the movie next week in stead. Who says there's no such thing as luck?

Oh, and the best part? This sort of thing happens to me all the time...

On the other hand, I also have really awesome things happen to me too. It's an interesting trade off. I can't decided whether I'd prefer having everything right in the middle or two very high extremes. I think I'm okay with the extreme dichotomy because if nothing else, it makes a good story. And, these things have to happen to someone. It might as well be me.

~

"If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen."

"If you can keep you head when everyone around you is loosing theirs, it's quite possible you haven't grasped the situation."

"Sarcasm doesn't come across as well through written text."

"All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat."

"When setting about a task, act as though it is impossible to fail. If you're going after Moby Dick, take along the tarter sauce."

"On the other hand, you have different fingers."

"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."

~

Today's Quote:

"In the cacophony of chaos that rages all around, there is peace and reflection in the soft, dulcet sounds of raindrops on your window pane."

Dreams

The character Glinda in the Broadway hit "Wicked" says the following:

"Cause getting your dreams, strange as it seems, is a little, well, complicated. There's a kind of a sort of cost. There's a couple of things get lost. There are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed until you crossed... [but] happy is what happens when all your dreams come true. Well, isn't it?"

Have you ever gotten what you wanted or had something really good in your life? Has it ever turned out to be just another road to follow and not the gateway to ease and comfort? Yeah. Now we share a boat. Grab a paddle and start rowing.

Life is hard. On the other hand, life is easy. But always, life is beautiful.

There are hard times that prime us for harder times. There are calm waters every so often to let us rest between the waves. (When the tides of life surround you and the water upsets your boat, don't waste your tears on what might have been, just lie on your back and float)

Chances are that 75% of complaining is pointless and silly because life really isn't that bad. The other 25% is probably a representation of truly hard times, but the complaining doesn't do anything other than make you that much more like Lamen and Lemuel. (And 59% of all percentages are made up)

Never ASK for patience. Just work on it when situations occur.

My life really isn't as complicated as I like to complain that it is. All the "problems" that I have in my life are just parts of life that I need to deal with and stop complaining about.

I need to stop worrying so much about tomorrow and start thinking more about today. (If you keep waiting for tomorrow, you'll find yourself with a whole lot of empty yesterdays)

I need to do everything in my power to be on the path I need to be on, doing the things I should be doing, and leaving the rest to Heavenly Father. (Praise Allah and tie your camel)

And everything I have stated above are all things that I know to be true... but have a harder time applying than saying.

One small consolation at pursuing higher education: "Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."--John Wayne

Chapter One

Every story has a first chapter. Even the mundane things in life had to start somewhere. But, I have found that it's not so much where you start that matters; it's where you go from there.

In the "original" Dr. Dolittle (staring Rex Harrison) one character says: "Here I stand at the crossroads of life. This way? That way? Which shall I go?" These are my sentiments exactly. I am in college pursuing a bachelor's degree in English/Psychology, I am finishing the last few weeks of a course to become a certified Phlebotomist, I coach Debate at Cedar High School, and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Here I am at one of the most important stages of my life and I don't know what to do or where to go. But guess what? That's okay. I don't have to decided my whole life right now. Some decisions must be made in advance, but right now? Just one day at a time... starting now.

Quotes/Thoughts for today:

"Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man... It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone."--C.S. Lewis

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept it; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Your tongue is clever and swift. Be careful you do not trip over it."--The Wind and the Lion