Now

Two movies to start:

Addams Family: there is a meal scene where Wednesday asks, "Will you pass the salt." Her mother responds with, "What do we say Wednesday?" She finishes, "Now."

National Treasure: after the Declaration of Independence is stolen the FBI shows up and one agent mentions that someone gave them a tip that the Declaration was going to be stolen. The head man in charge asks for further information but the other agent explains that, "there was no file opened, we didn't find the information credible." The head man then asks, "How about now?"

So, what do these two movies have in common?

Answer: Absolutely nothing. But these two scenes, do have something in common. One word. Now.

My dad once told me that he thought new years resolutions were silly because you should be able to change any part of your life at any time. You shouldn't have to wait for a special occasion or a specific/designated time during the year to make a change. You should be able to make changes NOW. And, that sounds wonderful. But like just about everything in life, it's easier said than done; especially for me.

My life (especially while at college) is broken up into three segments: two semesters and a summer. And, generally speaking, each of these segments have a particular flow to them based on the schedule they include and various other points details. I agree that changes can be made at any point, but they are easier to make at a breaking point. Last semester is a perfect example. I was stressed out beyond belief for a good part of the semester because I over-booked myself with classes, an additional phlebotomy class, coaching Debate, giving tours of the state and surrounding areas to visiting foreigners, internships at the hospital, and having surgery. But even after all that calmed down to a point where there was very little happening, I found it very hard to change the pace until all my finals were turned in and I was leaving for the summer. Then, things changed dramatically...

And, once again, I find myself in a rut. I confess (and understand I make many already jealous friends angry at me by doing so) that I am not enjoying my summer in Hawaii as much as I would like. I'm struggling with some people I have to work with at my job, I'm struggling with the idea of living with my parents again for more than a couple weeks, I'm struggling with my frugality, I'm struggling with exercise/good eating, and on top of all of that I have a hematoma in my arm that hurts really bad when I extend my elbow. So, life is basically good. ;)

I know I have very little to complain about, but that doesn't explain why I always feel as though I'm making zero progress in my life. My happiness isn't always where I am, but where the path I'm on is leading me. I always have big plans...for later. I never feel as though I'm in a position to start doing what I want to do. And, for the time being, I'm almost certain that's because I'm not in charge of my life as much as I was three months ago.

I'm looking forward to school starting again. So many things that are already set up for next semester seem to have me headed in the right direction. But it keeps me waiting. I keep feeling as though I can't live NOW.

I want to live NOW. I want to live my life, my way, NOW. And I know what everybody would say to me, "So why don't you?" And I'll tell you. I don't know.

~

"If you keep waiting for tomorrow, you'll find yourself with a whole lot of empty yesterdays."

"The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect different results."

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

~

Today's Featured Quote:

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." --Gandalf