Work

Some years ago, I can't remember when precisely, my father was talking about work. For those of you who know my father, or have heard me talk about him to the point that you think you know him, this is not an odd topic of conversation. My dad is a firm believer in hard work and has striven to ingrain this message in his children. I now relate the following story to evaluate his efforts:
In Relief Society on Sunday we were talking about work. I shared the thought that my father had two philosophies about work that surfaced several times through my life: 1) Hard work will cure almost any pain, and 2) You can work mad or you can work happy, but you still have to work. Some of the girls were obviously skeptical of this advice. But, the next day was FHE and we were going to play Volleyball. When I got to FHE I had a bit of a stomach ache (might have been the three gallons of cocoa I had) and I wasn't too excited about playing. But, I remembered what I had said the day before in Relief Society and I played anyway. Within twenty minutes, I had forgotten about the pain (which had, in fact, subsided) and the game became much more fun. My roommate Candy was aware of the pre-game stomach ache and about 30 minutes into the game she asked me if I was okay. I explained that I was feeling better. Another girl around us asked if I had been feeling ill. I explained that I had, but that I've been better since I started playing. She answered back by saying, "Wow. I guess your dad was right after all." This remark indicated to me that she hadn't believed the advice yesterday, but today, after seeing it in action, she came around to the idea of considering it. It's progress. :)
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Now that I have expressed how wonderful work is, I would like to clarify. Hard, manual labor is good; work that requires an abundance of how-to knowledge, a steady hand, and wearing scrubs is good; tedious, mind-power-necessitating, work is the root of all unhappiness in my life. :) I have found that I really don't mind manual labor (most of the time), but I really don't like busy work. Yes, I am talking about homework mostly. I don't like it! Give me a shovel and a ditch to dig or the anticubital region of someone's arm with rolling veins any day over some silly, illogical, fill-in-the-blank questions in Spanish. Just sayin'. :)
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"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
or "What doesn't kill you makes you wish it had."
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
or "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll have to buy a boat."
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
or
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Today's Featured Quote:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they ticked me off."

A pleasant day of working to everyone. :)

The Answering Machine

"You have reached the voice mailbox of Amy Almost Melanie Elizabeth Henderson. I'm sorry I missed your call, but if you leave you name and number, and a brief message as your own risk, I'll return your call as soon as I feel like it. Thank you."

I would think that this message would be sufficient for any person of average intelligence to understand. But no. No, after I have painstakingly thought of a voicemail greeting that is not offensive, mostly professional, and still showcases my own personality amidst the essential elements of the greeting, the phone, in all its wisdom, sees fits to add:

"Record your message after the tone. To send a numeric page press 5. When you are finished recording you may hang up, or press one for more options. To leave a call back number press 3 now."

You would think that after more than ten years of this, we wouldn't need an annoying recording of a mechanical woman's voice telling us how to do it. And, if I may point out, the original home answering machines didn't have any such instructions after the recorded greeting. So, it seems that we're digressing. We started out not needing any instructions, and now we need instructions repeated just to say our name and phone number after a beep. You've got to love technology and the "progress" of society. :)

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Appropriately, here are some of my favorite answering machine messages:

1) "This is ______'s cell, and here's a rhyme for you. I guess that I'm not here right now, but you know what to do. You can call me back later, or leave a message too. So leave you're name and number and I'll get back to you."

2) "You have reached the _________ home. Do dah. Do dah. Leave a message at the tone. Oh do dah day. Might be gone all night, might be gone all day, but we'll call back when we get home. Oh do dah day.

3) "Hi this is ______. Either I can't come to the phone or I just don't want to talk to you, so leave a message."

4) "This is you-know-who. I am you-don't-know-where. Leave a you-know-what, you-know-when."

5) "We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. But we're not home right now. So, leave a message and we'll assimilate you later."

6) "Hello. I'm ______'s answering machine. What are you?"

7) "You have reached _______'s answering machine. If you don't know what to do from here, chances are I won't want to talk to you anyway."

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"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." --Albert Einstein

"Thou shalt not scowl." --Brother Petersen

"If you see me comin' better step aside.

A lotta men didn't. A lotta men died.

One fist of iron, and the other a steel.

If the right one don't a-get you, then the left one will."

--Sixteen Tons :)

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Today's Featured Quote:

"The written word is all that stands between memory and oblivion. Without books as our anchors we are cast adrift, neither teaching nor learning. They are windows on the past, mirrors on the present, and prisms reflecting all possible futures. Books are lighthouses erected in the dark sea of time." --Gargoyles

Duck

When my dad was a little boy he had a stuffed turtle. His dad, however, told him that it was a duck. My dad, eventually, believed him and to this day the stuffed turtle (which he still has) is a duck.

Well, this last summer I really started liking ducks, uh, I mean, turtles. I got a turtle ring, and a turtle necklace, and I adopted every turtle I saw while snorkeling. But I'm a good mom and I let them go their own way. :) Anyway, this last Christmas break--not on Christmas, mind you--my grandma gave me a little stuffed, plush, green turtle. For one of the first times in my life I didn't have to think twice about a name. I named him Duck. :)