Mind and Matter

Dr. Seuss was an amazing man. He painted with tar on the side of his house, wrote books that were turned down dozens of times before becoming some of the most popular children's books, and he inspired millions to reach for their dreams. I admire Dr. Seuss, but I must admit that I was a little concerned because of a recent quote I heard of his: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” I was concerned because although I think this quote has potential for great good, I feel that it also has potential for great harm. I'll explain:

We live in an increasingly troubling world. Problems with popularity and acceptance spread far beyond the frightful high school hallways and reach clear into adulthood now with grown ups being held to a certain standard based on things that don't really matter (i.e. jobs, careers, financial situation, etc.). I have known people who are afraid to do pursue dreams in career fields and hobbies because of expectations others have for them. In short, there are people in the world who never reach their full potential because they are held back by what others might think. In these cases I strongly echo the words of Dr. Seuss and say "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

However, there is another side to this. Let me set up a scenario: A young man (let's call him Bartholomew) has a female friend (let us call her Lucretia) who is blunt on the side of rude. Lucretia is often so blunt as to insult people and talk badly about them behind their backs with spite and a smile. Now, I think we can all agree that gossiping about people is bad; doing so with malice is even worse. So, if that's the case, should Bartholomew tell Lucretia to stop being a jerk? According to Dr. Seuss's quote (when misinterpreted) Bartholomew telling Lucretia to stop expressing how she truly feels would give him the status of someone who doesn't matter in her life. This is the potential for harm. Sometimes, people who correct us in our errors do it not to cripple our creativity or individuality, but to keep us safe, and to help us become the people we could be and not just leave us as we are. A parent who corrects a child does it not to cause pain or to appear intolerant, but to help correct misguidance and give a child every opportunity to grow and progress so that they can become everything they have the potential to become. In these cases, I would tweak Dr. Seuss's quote a bit: "Be who you are and say what you feel, but listen to those who care about you because those who matter mind, and those who don't mind, don't matter." When someone "accepts" you as you are, it isn't always because they care. Someone who really cares about you will take you as you come, but help you move forward. Some of the best friends I've had in my life are the ones who've told me when I've been wrong and when I need to change.

Now, unfortunately, the line between these two possible interpretations is thin and individual. The biggest factor here is where the advice is coming from, because the people who care most about you are the ones who care enough to tell you when you're making a mistake. My parents wouldn't be good parents if they didn't correct me when I err...luckily they do. :) I think that if we open our hearts to help we'll find that more people are waiting to build us up then tear us down with their advice. So my advice is this: Listen, learn, grow.

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"God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we may hear twice as much as we say." --Vaea Enos

"Good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." --Unknown

"If you could taste the words you speak, would they be sweet?" --AEH

"That which we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly." --Thomas Paine

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Today's Featured Quote:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." --Maria Robinson